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Posted: May 8, 2012

No statute of limitation on grief or loss

By Stephanie Stevens

51 years ago she went for a walk with friends.

51 years ago she never came back.

Despite a massive manhunt, no trace of Brenda Byman was ever found. This year, she would have been 63.

For her family, her mother, her brother and sisters, it is as clear as yesterday. Her father died wondering.

Yet some tell them to give up. Sneer when they still search for answers. Deride them for wanting to know.

Is there a statute of limitations on grief?

I don’t think so. Nor should there be.

If it were your daughter, your sister, YOURS… would you rest easy never knowing? Would you just forget? Give up? That is what the Byman family has been told to do.

I say no.

I lost my daughter. She was two months old. She never had a chance at life.  And yes, I grieve her still. But at least I have the blessing of knowing what happened to her. There is no question in my mind we did all we could. There is no question what happened. And there is no question she is at peace. I lost my daughter. But I have closure.

The Byman family does not.

I say there is no statute of limitation on grief or loss. When I see a member of the family, I neither roll nor avert my eyes. I do not sigh or look away if they mention her name.

And I never will. I am a journalist. I am honoured they have asked me to write about the reopening of Brenda’s cold case. I will do everything I can to help.

And anyone who does not like it can come and talk to me face to face.

If you have the courage. If you have the balls. I fucking dare you.

Above image from ‘LivingHealthy.worldwide.com

Stephanie Stevens is a journalist who lives in the Columbia Valley.


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