Feb. 23/24, 2012

Each armed faction in the Northern Hemishphere believed it was the only one that took advantage of the deep freeze and with such glowing arrogance highlighting their foolishness, they rolled out toward enemies on all fronts with unmitigated swash and buckle and ooze and fester.

We were also unaware at that time of what was playing out around the globe. Though we were aware of dangers everywhere, it still had not resonated in me that actual organized armies were lining up for an apocalyptic stampede.

It didn’t surprise me to learn about it later on. It was a fascinating spreading out of mankind’s worst traits, with war and murder at the tip of the lance.

I have the best intelligence of what occurred in North America, obtained from various elements with the Carson City/Reno, northern California, Idaho, Montana, Las Vegas, Manitoba and Tijuana/Mexicali armies.

For a place known for its peacekeeping, evil Canadians did a masterful job of forming well-organized sides, utilizing military hardware well, as, it seems, numerous trained military or ex-military types were left behind for the fiery banquet.

So please forgive me for I am working from some pretty sketchy and damaged notes, but the following is a general glimpse of what was happening around North America, and the Northern Hemisphere on Feb. 23 and 24 of 2012.

Imagine a map of the continent and now begin to try and start imagining new borders and frontiers established from the complete collapse of all governing bodies on Nov. 11, 2011.

If we are looking at a map of the continent, let’s begin with the upper northwest — Alaska/Yukon.

A barren and isolated place became tenfold lonely and a few small bands were struck up in such places as Nome, Fairbanks and Whitehorse, but they were mostly dangerous family groups scrounging for survival.

The entire north of Canada was the same, though a few locations were being reached and sacked by armed bands from the south.

Heading south along the Pacific Coast we come to Vancouver, where a band of about 400 sundry sordid types had gathered and overpowered smaller bands. They had a territory that covered the current Lower Mainland of British Columbia, including the Sunshine Coast and south into Washington, to Bellingham, where a fiercely contested front was being pushed back and forth on a daily basis.

All of the Vancouver army’s resources were being spent fortifying their border facing the Greater Seattle Army, which held an area that included the Olympic Peninsula, southern Vancouver Island, much of the Coast Range to the east and south to the Columbia River/Oregon border, where it had a hot spot front against the Portland Pirates, a smaller but scrappy bunch reaching to Salem and Eugene, but did not have enough manpower to cover the central and southern coastal areas where we had been.

Seattle had control of military ships and had aerial capabilities. As did the LA/San Diego and San Francisco armies. The Vancouver army also enjoyed aerial advantages, like most serious armies.

The largest armies in the west were the San Francisco/San Jose/Oakland/Sacramento army, which fronted with Reno and Carson City – and reached out to ‘touch’ Portland. It had fronts with the almost equally as large LA/San Diego army — at Fresno and San Luis Obispo.  Bakersfield was razed to the ground by the LA crew, and San Diego joined sides with them (gave in) during that battle, which took place in early January.

The Reno and Carson City enclave, run by Sonny Dotter and CC Ivory, was one that holds a ‘special’ place in my heart. Watching Andy tear them to shreds back in Bend, I realized that I was accompanying a great freak of some kind across an apocryphal hinterland. Not a bad thing to be doing, considering.

The LA/San Diego army had a front against the Tijuana/Mexicali army, the fourth largest in Mexico. It would have been the largest but it was badly hammered by LA/San Diego — bolstered with extreme military hardware from nearby military facilities. Likewise, San Francisco was greatly boosted with US military firepower.

LA had a front with the third largest western army in Las Vegas, which was a hodgepodge of vile, cheating scum from all over America – led by a New York-born mobster named Antonio Loscerbo, who made his ‘subjects’ call him Caesar.

The Vegas crew held a small but impenetrable territory, centered by a shining fortress in the desert.

They ruled the desert area and had tried to take Area 51 but a small and supremely dangerous crew of evil military freak experiments and experimenters were holed up. They occasionally hit Vegas and LA with surprise blitzkrieg air attacks.

The Vegas crew also had fronts against the Arizona Army, which had enclaves in Phoenix, Tucson/Nogales and Flagstaff. Arizona and LA have an active front at Quartzsite and Gila Bend. In addition they have a front against a small but nasty Mexican band based in Nogales. The Mexicans have pushed the front into the US at Rio Rico.

There is a great sweeping wasteland stretching from Vegas north to Wendover/Salt Lake City, where there are rag tag bands no one has really heard of yet and aren’t much worth worrying about at any rate. From there – up, east of Billings is SFA until one would come across three small armies in Idaho, Rapid City/Deadwood and Bismark/Minot.

The Bismark/Minot crew had under its command some nuclear missile silos, but fortunately they didn’t have the know-how to launch them.

A large and insane /ManitobaWinnipeg Army had also invaded North Dakota and taken control of some missile silos. The Winnipeg Army had aerial capabilities as well as both the CPR and CNR rail lines operating to allow them quick, large operations against the small, mostly unthreatening bands in Saskatchewan, which they assimilated or destroyed rapidly. In Alberta, there was a large army in Edmonton, which was establishing a fort at Calgary, which was easily overrun.

It was only pure fortune that Calgary’s remaining evil sorts had gravitated to the airport, for some reason, where a savage frontier environment was established.

The Alberta crew had forts at Red Deer, Calgary, Medicine Hat, Fort MacMurray and Lloydminster. Their influence spanned into BC’s Peace Country. Aside from Vancouver, the only other nasty gathering was a rag tag mess of one in Prince George.

The Wyoming Cowboys, based out of Cheyenne, with forts at Casper and Rock Springs, kept themselves busy and supplied by raiding the Coloradoans terrain.

They had a front at Fort Collins against the Colorado ‘Boulders,’ based out of Boulder and Denver. They also had forts at Colorado Springs and Rifle. They were mid-sized and well armed, complete with aerial capabilities (helicopters and a single jet pilot – a misguided drug maniac who purposely bombed his own troops in Iraq). They had a front at Raton against the small and relatively inactive New Mexican Army, based out of Albuquerque. They had small forts at Gallup, Las Crucas and Roswell. They were well armed and left alone, because they had developed active trade with the neighbouring Mexican Army, based in Ciudad Juarez. It was the only instance of cooperation of any kind by any sides.

Texas was divided into four large slabs.

Facing the New Mexicans at Roswell was the almost equally laid back West Texans, which were based out of Lubbock, with bases at Amarillo, El Paso and Presidio.

The second army was the Dallas/Fort Worth crew, which included the conquered Oklahoma Army, following the battle of Oklahoma City, where their second largest enclave was located. They also had forts at Paris and Waco, which were fronts against their enemies, the West Texans and East Texans.

The East Texans were based out of Houston. They had a huge fort at Austin, which was the front against the Southern Texans, based out of San Antonio and Laredo. The Southern Texans were fairly aggressive at first and got knocked down a few pegs by, in order, the Eastern Texans and then the Western Texans.

Worst of all in this region were the ferocious and revenge motivated Coahuila and Nuevo Leon Union (centered in Monterrey), crews. The secret of their success was continuity. In some cases, entire drug gangs were left standing following the disappearance, so they hit the battlefield jacked and ready to go. They had designs on San Antonio, for history’s sake and mother Mexico.

The South Texans had forts at Brownsville, Del Rio and Corpus Christi. They were all well armed, which was why the Coahuilans and Nuevo Leon Union hadn’t taken San Antonio.

Kansas was ruled by a corporation of evil corn-fed scum, led by a fire and brimstone wide-eyer named Fred Phelps, a man reborn.

Before the disappearance he fancied himself a fire and brimstone man of God, who was the power behind the Westboro Baptist Church. While most of his ‘flock’ left piles of clothing on the ground, he was left standing – left to face his own particular sins. Still, one does not become the leader of a freak church without possessing skills and charms and Phelps was able to quickly organize wandering Kansan rottens into determined units of zombie warriors.

They had bible-thumping forts in Wichita, Kansas City and Fort Scott.

They had recently knocked the Missouri Minutemen back to Jefferson City in a series of pitched battles.

Like the Coloradans and the Texans, they had aerial capabilities, including Blackhawk helicopters and military jets. They were making strafing missions against all their neighbours on almost a daily basis.

The upper central plains had a hornets nest of active but small tribes, including the Fargo/Grand Forks crew, Lincoln/Omaha enclave, Des Moines Military and Twin City Force, which had been badly damaged by the Winnipeg Army, which used trains to launch massive attacks and severely depleted their resources and ability to defend.

The second largest army in the USA was the Lake Michigan crew, based out of Chicago. Its empire stretched with the Mississippi River down to St. Louis, conquered in the bloodiest battle since the disappearance began. It’s what nut kicked the Missouri crew, which now acts as a front force for the Michigan Lakers against the Kansas Army. The Michigan Lake empire moved east to Evansville, Kentucky over to Cincinnati, Ohio and north to South Bend. They ran north to include Milwaukee and Green Bay. That meant northern Wisconsin and Minnesota were no-mans lands – wildernesses again. Ditto for northern Ontario. This only helped to strengthen the Manitoba Army, as it could hold back resources and focus on hot spots with size of force.

East of the Michigan Lake empire, which utilized boats on the lakes for attacks (coast guard etc.) and had aerial and rail capabilities was the Detroit crew, which owned all Michigan and a chunk of southern Ontario up to London, where they had a severe front against the Canadians, a merging of evil fronts from Toronto, Hamilton, conquered Buffalo, Ottawa and Montreal. They controlled all of eastern Canada, except Newfoundland. They also had outposts in Quebec, St. John, Halifax and Sault Ste. Marie. They used rail, had aerial capabilities and had control of several Canadian navy frigates.

The Detroit crew, pressed down by the Canadians and forced by the Lake Michiganites, had only been able to push toward London and south to Fort Wayne, Ind., and Akron, Ohio.

There they had a front against the largest army in the former North America and third largest in the world (the first two are the British and Russian armies) — the Americans. The Americans controlled all of New England, New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Maryland, Virginia, Washington DC, West Virginia west to Evansville, where they had a front against the Lake Michigans and down to Chattanooga, Tenn. They were centered in New York City and had access to massive volumes of American Military might and personnel. They had been holding discussions with the Canadians, hoping to create a super force, and were planning an overseas raid, rather than waste resources on pushing westward or into Canada.

They had a massive front and hellacious ongoing war against the Confederate States, based in Atlanta. They controlled the Carolinas down to Florida, and held a front against the Americans at Chattanooga and Memphis. They had fronts against the Kansans at Springfield, Missouri, the East Texans at Tulsa, Okla., and the south Texans at Lake Charles, Louisiana. They also had enclaves at Nashville, Little Rock, Shreveport, New Orleans, Tallahassee, Jacksonville, Tampa and Miami.

There was little safe passage for those who didn’t wish to be part of any army or gang east of the Mississippi.

In Mexico, the Tijuanans controlled the Baja, with a front against the LA/San Diego army right at the border.

Northern Mexico was divided into parcels by bands out of those mentioned earlier, as well as armies based out of Durango/Mazatlan, Guadalajara/Jalisco, Tampico and the biggest, controlling all of southern Mexico, as well as Guatamala, was the Real Mexican Army based out of Mexico City. They had forts at Acapulco, Veracruz, Campeche, Cancun and Guatamala City. They scared the shit out of the Americans and Confederate States, as well as the other Mexican armies, which were slowly being pulled into their vacuum.

A commonly delighted upon cause of sticking it to the Yankee pigs made capitulation an easier row to hoe for the Real Mexican Army. The Real Mexican Army, and the northern Mexican Army, had control of much of Mexico’s military hardware, though much of it sat unused.

The country was chock-a-block with small roving bands of cutthroats who wanted nothing to do with armies, so there was continual skirmishing, which kept all armies occupied.

In Canada, the USA and Mexico, there were also independent forts/armies numbering fewer than 100, which also become the focus of attentions to larger armies as they spread out over the landscape. North America was like Europe/Asia Minor and North Africa in 1,000 B.C., sans love and families and real reasons to live or to die for.

In Europe, Britain (the United Kingdom and Ireland) was a hornet’s nest of serious military hardware packing maniacs. They’d already claimed Iceland. It took just one small incursion to kill the two evil people left wandering about lost outside the Penis Museum. They raided northern France, which was warring with the Germans, who had been warring with everyone around them, including a plucky but sick band of Poles and an undecided but efficient group of Swiss. It was a quick assimilation of the Austrians, a Sunday murder march through Belgium and one large explosion in a dike to destroy the the Dutch. The Italians started out siding with the French, after they booth decided that fighting was too much bother and they should instead band together to be larger and mightier so they could handle the pesky Swiss and freaks from the Baltic States.

But once the Germans rose up and appeared to be the European power, beside Britain and Russia, they changed sides.

The Spanish had blasted over to Morocco and gotten themselves in a major scrap with a powerful Moslem Army from Algeria, Libya and Egypt, which were backed by Saudis and Jordanian gangs. If it weren’t for their obsession with obliterating the small Israeli army – an evil bunch of childrens’ hand breaking bastards — they’d have done the Spanish a right treat.

The Portuguese were quietly riding things out, doing slightly evil deeds to one another, or trying to get to Brazil, where South America was being controlled following a nation destroying war between cartels in Venezuela, Colombia and Argentina. Sheer numbers gave the Brazilians the edge. None of that mattered now as hurricanes, tidal waves and earthquakes kept everyone hanging on for dear life and stopped small armies from marching.

Back in Europe, and western Asia, the Russians had essentially reclaimed much of the former Soviet Union, aside from Czech Republic and Slovakia, which had banded together with Hungary, Croatia and Slovenia.

A Viking stronghold had taken root in Norway, Denmark and Sweden after Sweden, with help from the Danes, took Norway out at the Battle of Oslo.

Finland, like Portugal, remained largely overlooked by the other warring loonies and so they sat back and perpetrated bad deeds on one another or occasionally crossed into Russia and took on a patrolling band of rapists.

West of the Ural Mountains was a nasty mix of warring tribes, either seeking to slash Russian throats or escape marauding gangs of Chinese, Mongolians or Iranians.

The Chinese were popular targets for warring bands. That’s what centuries of oppressive rule will do to a people when the shit hits the fan. That and their inability to form a unified force, as many other smaller nations had managed, meant the evil Chinese were doomed faster than most other evil people.

Japan was a mess of warring tribes and the ferocity at which they had been going at it had them on the verge of being wiped out by united Korean demons.

India and Pakistan were overrun by hundreds of marauding armies, with fortresses established at Bathinda, Mumbai, Bangalore, Kolkata, Karachi and Peshawar.

Landscapes were torn asunder from murderous rampages by warring tribes —like most of the world’s absolute anarchy it was full on racial motivation with sidebars of religious persecution.

Rat bastard armies from Laos, Vietnam, Malaysia, Indonesia and Cambodia had all taken swings at China, which was divided into about a dozen ‘nation states’, all brandishing aspects of the Chinese military. However, the will to stove another person’s skull in for a crust of bread, a potato or sack of rice is quickly eradicated when 200 to 300 m/ph winds are blowing the torments of the apocalypse.

The Aussies and New Zealanders were also ripped to pieces by the hypercane, with vast hunks of land carved off by warlords and regular warring was underway between those final few terrible souls.

The Philippines was also incredibly divided and was warring amongst itself, though one cheeky band made its way to Darwin, Australia and briefly claimed the northern city for its own, before being almost obliterated by a combined Aussie states force, which soon fell apart from infighting after the Philippine evil was sent packing to New Guinea, where some were eaten by truly evil cannibals.

A problem for the Aussies, and the Africans — who were also tearing themselves to ribbons with countless tribal conflicts — was snakes, which deprived of 98% of their food sources, were zeroing in on people with great alacrity.

Providing the trigger pulling and machete wielding muscle for all these blood-lusting armies was roughly 75 million evil souls. Those numbers were quickly declining.

Evil was scattered around the globe in a fairly representative fashion, in terms of what the populations of various nations were at the time of the disappearance.

The best place to be was anywhere else. The safest place to be was – alone.

Ian Cobb/e-KNOW

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