Mommy’s Weird

By Kyla Cornish

It’s been a while since I have complained about other parents on Mommy’s Weird.  Mostly, because I have grown up a bit since starting this blog.

Shocking.

Okay, you can quit laughing now.

Want me to be a bit of a dick?

You do?

Whew. Thanks so much. Holding this in was starting to hurt my bowels.

Scene:  Very Popular Park.

Baby Bot slid down the slide, walked over to me, grabbed my hand and said, “Swings, Momma?”  Hand in hand we started the trek over to the baby swings.

Birds were singing.

The air was sweet.

And I was walking with my most favourite three-year-old. I was grinning ear-to-ear and in absolute heaven.  As we got closer to the swings I noticed that two were full, one was broken and one was empty for my boy.

“I love swings, Momma. I want to fly and go crazy!”

We were six Baby Bot steps away from the swings.

I was two Mommy-sized steps from picking him up to put him in the swing.

Next thing you know I felt a hand on my thigh, saw the blur of a blue hat and the sound of spraying gravel.

It was another kid.

He had pushed ahead of us to the remaining baby swing.

We stopped in our tracks and I turned to look to see where he had come from and saw his Mother approximately 10 feet behind me.

“You want to go on the swings, honey?” She said to her son.

Surely, she was going to talk to him about waiting his turn and to let us go ahead because we were obviously there first. What a great teaching moment for her.

Surely that was about to happen.

Surely.

As Baby Bot and I stood within arms reach of the swing. She acknowledged the situation by smiling at us and saying, “Let’s go play on the teetor totter.”

“No, I want to swing.” He replied.

So, she picked him up and put him in the swing, while Baby Bot and I stood with our jaws on the gravel.

“Oh.” I said. ” Um…ahhh…okay.”

Baby Bot looked up at me with his beautiful baby blues and said, “It’s okay Momma, I can play on the teetor totter.”

I wanted to tell him that it wasn’t okay. That he was there first. That it was his turn and that the other little boy and his Mom were wrong.

But, I didn’t.

I looked down at him and smiled.

Wow, my kid is totally awesome.

And that other kid…

Well.

Well.

Well you suck. And so does your Mom.

– Kyla Cornish is a “retired” radio Dj adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, sleep sanity and an addiction to saucy chicken wings. Kyla has been published in a series of funny blogger ebooks, ‘Life Well Blogged.’ She has also been recognized as one of the Top 25 Funny Moms in Canada and US by Circle of Moms. Then she was kicked out of that contest for cheating. She also won a baking competition when she was 11 at a 4-H Rally. Find Kyla here: http://www.mommysweird.com and follow on twitter @mommyisweird

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