Book Review

By Derryll White

Hiaasen, Carl (2020).  Squeeze Me.

“The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Carl Hiaasen is at his best here, lamenting the loss of the South Florida environment he has always held so dear.  Given the political landscape of the United States the recent President becomes the focus for this work.  Palm Beach is awash with fabulously wealthy charity balls and the sycophants are out in force.  The President, or Mastodon as he is known here, is of course the focus of many of them.

Hiaasen does not do a good job of curbing his disgust both for POTUS and for the way the U.S. is handling the COVID-19 crisis.  His legendary comic mind is let loose with few restraints.  Angie Armstrong comes boldly on the scene speaking for reason and environmental protection.  The author exploits her, the First Lady and a myriad of others who he pulls into a rollicking laugh fest of disdain for power and a lament for the Nation.

Carl Hiaasen’s all-time favourite characters return, Jim Tiles and ‘Skink’, the Governor.  The two of them, older and much shakier, still have the stealth and determination to expose to the American public the charade being foisted on them by money and political power.  Hiaasen may be one of the most honest voices speaking today on the charade the U.S. political system is.

‘Squeeze Me’ is a delightful political action thriller that makes huge points with any reader who will allow his or her mind to be stretched. Carl Hiaasen is a favourite of mine and this novel does not disappoint.

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Excerpts from the novel:

FOOD KINKS – The most desirable sea mollusk on the planet is the queen conch, too scrumptious for its own good.  Once abundant throughout the shallows and coral reefs of South Florida, the slow-growing snail was nearly wiped out by the fritter-crazed divers in the 1970s.  Domestic harvesting of the species was outlawed.

Today, the United States consumes eighty percent of all commercially sold conch.  Most of it comes from the Bahamas and Caribbean islands…

RICH BITCHES – A discussion produced the unanimous sentiment that court trials in such brutal cases were a waste of public tax dollars, and that the culprit should be dragged by his hairy nut sack straight from the booking desk to the death chamber.

“Do not pass Go!” erupted Deidre Cobo Lancôme.  It was a quip favored by one of her late husbands, who’d heard it from a squash partner who worked as a Human Resources specialist, laying off middle-aged executives.

SOUTH FLORIDA – The lure was connected by thin braided line to a rod and reel belonging to a teenaged boy who was skipping school.

The boy looked up from the canal bank to see what he’d snagged, dialed 911, cut his line with a knife, and walked away.  It was the third dead body he’d found while fishing, but such was the reality of a childhood spent outdoors in Florida.  It was a testament to the teen’s passion for angling that he’d never considered getting a new hobby.

– Derryll White once wrote books but now chooses to read and write about them.  When not reading he writes history for the web at www.basininstitute.org.

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