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Is coconut a nut?
Mommy’s Weird
By Kyla Cornish
This is a true conversation. And I am writing this in real time, so I won’t even know the bloody answer until I Google it LIVE with ya’ll.
Yes.
This is as stupid as it sounds.
Scene: 9:17 p.m. and I am having a chocolate craving.
Me: I am gonna make some of those no bake cookie thingys. Like haystacks or turkey turds or whatever they are called. Want some?
Zed: You are going to make them now?
Me: Yes.
Zed: Okay.
Seven minutes later…
Me: Gah. It’s boiling. Pass me the coconut and cocoa and oatmeal.
Zed: You know if you had planned…
Me: Just do it, its not going to work and then it will be all crumbly.
Throwing ingredients in and stirring.
Me: Waaaaaaaait a minute, is coconut a nut?
Zed: No.
Me: What is it then?
Zed: Coconut.
Me: Co. Co. NUT. It’s a nut.
Zed: It’s not a nut.
Me: It has a hard shell… like a nut.
Zed: So does an egg. An egg’s not a nut.
Me: I think it’s a nut. It has to be a nut. Why else would the name is Co. Co. NUT.
Zed: No one is allergic to coconut.
Me: Um… yeah there are people. People can be allergic to anything. I know a person who is allergic to chicken.
Zed, tasting one: These are good.
Me: I knooooooow. So good. Go get some ice cream.
So ladies and gentlemen, I am about to Google the big news. As I write this I am staring to think that coconut may actually be a fruit. And because this is so action packed while I LIVE Google this. I am thinking that I am just going to Google “is coconut a nut?” to see what comes up.
The suspense is killing me…
Okay…
Be right back…
Well looky loo…
Coconut is not a botanical nut; it is classified as a fruit, even though the Food and Drug Administration recognizes coconut as a tree nut. While allergic reactions to coconut have been documented, most people who are allergic to tree nuts can safely eat coconut. If you are allergic to tree nuts, talk to your allergist before adding coconut to your diet.
So wait a damn minute.
It’s not a nut.
It’s a tree nut?
What the hell does that even mean?
So is it a nut?
SOMEONE TELL ME.
IS A COCONUT A NUT?
– Kyla Cornish is a “retired” radio Dj adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, sleep sanity and an addiction to saucy chicken wings. Kyla has been published in a series of funny blogger ebooks, “Life Well Blogged.” She has also been recognized as one of the Top 25 Funny Moms in Canada and US by Circle of Moms. Then she was kicked out of that contest for cheating. She also won a baking competition when she was 11 at a 4-H Rally. Find Kyla here: https://www.mommysweird.com and follow on twitter @mommyisweird
