Mommy’s Weird

By Kyla Cornish

Baby Bot is sick.

The sickest I have ever seen him.

It breaks my heart because he is the just the happiest, most easy-going kid on the planet.

He has been a joy to raise.

Mostly because he raises himself.

“Momma, I sick. My mouth sore.”

“Momma, I tired. I go to bed.”

“Momma, I go to potty.”

“Momma, I clean my room, have bath, make supper and do laundry.”

Not quite.

But, you catch my drift.

This morning I held him in my arms and tried to decipher what he was saying. His voice was just so fat and thick. Poor little babe. Plus, he was coughing.

“Sorry, honey. Tell Momma again.” I asked him as I rocked him back and forth and stroked his golden angel hair.

“Ehwamada.”

“Sorry, baby. Momma can’t understand you.” I snuggled him close and kissed his forehead. Poor little love.

“Ehnowamamewuhwamada.”

“Oh lovey.” I put my cheek to his forehead to feel his fever.

He then took both his hands and aggressively squirmed his steamy little body away from me.

“I don’t want you. I want my Dada!” He yelled with his fat, thick, hoarse little voice.

Got it.

– Kyla Cornish is a “retired” radio Dj adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, sleep sanity and an addiction to saucy chicken wings. Kyla has been published in a series of funny blogger ebooks, “Life Well Blogged.” She has also been recognized as one of the Top 25 Funny Moms in Canada and US by Circle of Moms. Then she was kicked out of that contest for cheating. She also won a baking competition when she was 11 at a 4-H Rally. Find Kyla here: https://www.mommysweird.com and follow on twitter @mommyisweird

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