Mommy’s Weird

By Kyla Cornish

Today Baby Bot rubbed my calves and shrieked.

A high-pitched, bloodcurdling scream.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Momma, you have porcupine legs!”

Oh.

I started to laugh. In my mind I started the debate of what was better. Enjoying five weeks between shaving my legs and letting the hair grow into a silky luscious almost braid-able coif or causing my son to scream bloody murder after day four.

While I was debating this very important life changing decision, I was interrupted by the sound of a young boy pretending to be a… ‘who the hell knows what.’

He sounded a bit like a robot; a tad like a truck and a bit like a hyena.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“I’m a trimmer,” he replied. “I’ma trimming your porcupine legs.”

– Kyla Cornish is a “retired” radio Dj adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, sleep sanity and an addiction to saucy chicken wings. Kyla has been published in a series of funny blogger ebooks, “Life Well Blogged.” She has also been recognized as one of the Top 25 Funny Moms in Canada and US by Circle of Moms. Then she was kicked out of that contest for cheating. She also won a baking competition when she was 11 at a 4-H Rally. Find Kyla here: https://www.mommysweird.com and follow on twitter @mommyisweird

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