Mommy’s Weird

By Kyla Cornish

Calm down.

Don’t spill your damn coffee.

You are not about to see a photo of me in a bikini.

Here look at my Hot Mom friends in their bikini’s.

Satisfied?

Let’s move on.

While at the beach this summer, I noticed that lots of chubby girls were wearing bikinis.

Big round bellies.

Big muffin tops.

Big back fat.

Big overspilling DD breasts.

I was in awe.

I couldn’t quit staring.

Who do these girls think they are?

Seriously, they are far too fat to be wearing bikinis.

Did I just say that?

I am very sorry to say that this was my immediate reaction. And I am not proud to admit that my immediate reaction was so harsh because I don’t feel that way. I absolutely loved seeing those girls rock their bikinis. I loved watching them jiggle and giggle with their friends.

They didn’t give a flying phooey.

And it was hot.

And it was strong.

And it made me jealous.

That is why my immediate reaction was a little harsh.

It wasn’t until my mid 20s did I quit wearing a t-shirt over my full body bathing suit. I never had the confidence to wear a bikini. I never had the confidence to embrace my beauty and be comfortable in my own skin.

Today, I am 35, 200 lbs, bloody beautiful and extremely confident in my looks and how I look in my tankini.

Does it mean I am going to buy a bikini?

Hells No!

But, it means that I know that I can.

– Kyla Cornish is a “retired” radio Dj adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, sleep sanity and an addiction to saucy chicken wings. Kyla has been published in a series of funny blogger ebooks, “Life Well Blogged.” She has also been recognized as one of the Top 25 Funny Moms in Canada and US by Circle of Moms. Then she was kicked out of that contest for cheating. She also won a baking competition when she was 11 at a 4-H Rally. Find Kyla here: https://www.mommysweird.com and follow on twitter @mommyisweird

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