Mommy’s Weird

By Kyla Cornish

I’m not really sure how it started.

I was in the kitchen cooking supper when I saw a little hand swipe the vegetable.

Then I heard the sounds of little feet followed by some giggling and then some serious discussions of who was going to get to sleep with the Yam.

It really happened that quick.

I am aware that I am now capitalizing the word, Yam. I don’t know if Yam is a boy or a girl. I just know that Yam is now part of our family.

I know this because soon Bot was using Yam to hit his sister.

Then the tears started.

Uh oh… in our house retaliation starts after the tears.

It was full on Yam tug-of-war.

At first I didn’t know what to do.

I mean seriously, they were fighting over a vegetable. And a crappy vegetable at that. It’s unclean. It has moldy little spores starting to grow all over it. I just couldn’t believe what I was friggin’ witnessing.

I kept watching them in disbelief.

Were they really fighting over who was going to sleep with Yam? A big ol’ dirty Yam?

And the fight was getting serious. I had to do something. I had to pull a giant Mommy move out of the thin air.

“Okay!” I shouted. “That is enough. Give. Me. The. Yam. We are going to make a chart for who gets to sleep with it.”

I grabbed a piece of paper out of the recycling and quickly jotted this down…(left)

Please Note: That on Friday I get to cook Yam.

But until then, Yam better enjoy living in luxury.

– Kyla Cornish is a “retired” radio DJ adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, sleep sanity and an addiction to saucy chicken wings. Kyla has been published in a series of funny blogger ebooks, “Life Well Blogged.” She has also been recognized as one of the Top 25 Funny Moms in Canada and US by Circle of Moms. Then she was kicked out of that contest for cheating. She also won a baking competition when she was 11 at a 4-H Rally. Find Kyla here: https://www.mommysweird.com and follow on twitter @mommyisweird

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