Mommy’s Weird

By Kyla Cornish

We say “toot” at our house, not “fart.”

I know, I know. I am going all June Cleaver over here.

When Whirlwind says “fart,” I always look at her puzzled and tell her that I have never heard that word before.

The word “fart” bugs me. Especially when children say it.

And it bugs Whirlwind that I don’t know what it is, because usually she gets angry and yells, “FART MEANS TOOT!”

The entire conversation is a bit silly, which is another word we use around here. We use silly instead of stupid.

Which is really stupid.

Here is why.

I left the kids in the van while I ran in to drop something off at my parents. In the three minutes I was gone, Whirlwind had taught two-year-old Baby Bot some new words.

When I opened the van door he looked at me with his giant baby blue eyes and gorgeous smile and greeted me with, “Stupid Mommy.”

I was shocked.

And clearly unimpressed.

I told them that was not a nice word. And that instead he could use the word silly.

So, now he calls me “Silly Mommy.”

And it really ticks me off. Because I know he doesn’t mean it; deep down I know he really wants to call me stupid.

–  Kyla Cornish is a “retired” radio Dj adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, sleep sanity and an addiction to saucy chicken wings. Kyla has been published in a series of funny blogger ebooks, “Life Well Blogged.” She has also been recognized as one of the Top 25 Funny Moms in Canada and US by Circle of Moms. Then she was kicked out of that contest for cheating. She also won a baking competition when she was 11 at a 4-H Rally. Find Kyla here: https://www.mommysweird.com and follow on twitter @mommyisweird

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