Kootenay Crust

By Ian Cobb

A Financial Post columnist July 13 displayed in towering fashion why Western Canadians love to dislike Toronto/Ottawa/Eastern Canada etc.

In a piece with the click-bait troll twit headline: ‘If losing Greyhound means small towns dying, then let ’em die,’ William Watson argued the Canadian taxpayer should not have to subsidize Greyhound.

As I first read the piece, I thought he was trying to be funny. But come its conclusion, I realized that this self admitted big city boy is just another blithering yap-artist from the east who has absolutely no clue about the west, or about rural Canada. And yet he is in a position of influence and we wonder out here in rural Western Canada why so many incredulously brain-dead legislations get enacted.

Watson correctly notes that Canadians should not have to prop up a failing business in order to prop up a dying town. As most Western Canadians have more ‘keep government out of my business’ streaks in them than folks from Toronto will ever have, no matter how many Fords they support, many of us are with you there, sonny Jim.

Greyhound Canada has been doing a lousy job for decades – as corporate buttocks clenched tighter and tighter, demanding more done with less yada yada the usual corporate horse crap that continues to dismantle our society.

They cried that ridership went down after the Portage La Prairie beheading. We taxpayers cried justice went down like a stunned Judge’s breakfast in the biffy when the decapitator eventually walked free thanks to being crazy. Soft judges come from big cities. I just made that up but it sounds right. You know how that feels eh Billy boy?

Watson also screams from the top of his office tower another classic Toronto/Ottawa streak of ignorance; their lack of understanding that much of Canada’s wealth comes from rural Canada, which according to Watson and the – dig this one – FINANCIAL POST – could care less about, apparently.

“Personally, I can’t believe small-town people are so horrible we should bribe them to stay where they are,” he said, likely chuckling smugly to himself, visualizing dumb looking rural people sitting on porches, looking lost and bitter (much like many Ontario voters at this time).

The funny kicker is that Watson admits in his lede: “As a big-city boy, born and bred, I don’t actually know many small-town Canadians.”

Then he shites all over them like Donald Trump on acid at a G8 summit.

“Beyond that, is there a national interest in keeping open every small Canadian community whatever the cost? No. Places die. It happens. It’s sad and disruptive for the people who live there. But once those one-time costs have been borne they and their kids will find a much broader range of opportunities in the city. Not even in Canada is there a human right to your precise status quo,” Watson decrees.

“Let’s free up competition for buses, get bus costs down, and then let small-town Canadians — many of whom are, I’m sure, very nice people — decide for themselves what to do.”

Gee thanks oh tall forehead. Like we hadn’t thought of that before. Where would be without your great city-boy knowledge?

Oh I know, let me tell you: we’re free of the stresses, costs and crimes of the big cities, which ALWAYS cost taxpayers vast sums of money in order to main infrastructure and vote sucking political parties. We are free to live better lives, healthier and longer lives – Greyhound bus service be damned. Most of us have our own transportation and most of our local governments spend our money to ensure there is local transit. Don’t need no big city types to tell us that I tell you what (picks at teeth as grass blade is lodged).

A main reason we rural types have better lives than urban ones, who are always in need of government handouts in order to fix problems of their own making (as in, why should we rural British Columbians give Ottawa money for it to throw away on the endless nightmare that is Southern Ontario infrastructure?) – is we have more disposable income.

Our housing prices are lower, even out here in the paradise that is the Canadian Rockies, where God comes to escape the endless whiney nonsense that is the over-crowded cesspools of the world.

Yet according to a Financial Post columnist, we’re a bunch of droopy-necked slouches who need to be helped by diminished gits who can’t even help themselves.

We don’t need your help. Check out the transfer payment thing (okay, Manitoba, snap to!)

In fact, Western Canada would be much better off without any interference from Ottawa. That’s right smart arse, how about we rural folk out here in the west said “eff you Ottawa” and separated. Where would you get the bulk of the money you love to waste on Ontario and Quebec?

All of this shouting does not solve the dilemma of many thousands of people being screwed without accessible and affordable transportation. Government involvement is all but assured, though it shouldn’t be and on that I agree with Watson.

I believe this is an opportunity for a savvy and capable entrepreneur. And seeing as how savvy and capable entrepreneurs helped make Western Canada the most vibrant part of Canada the past decades … I think we have this one, too. Keep your money Justin. You have big bills from your India debacle and a certain Donald (Putin’s lap monkey) Trump keeps flicking snot balls in your face, so you are occupied.

And you William Watson, I hope you learn some lessons about rural Canada from all this wannabe Charles Bukowski stuff.

I’d bet that less than one-tenth of all rural Canadians are living in ‘dying towns,’ whereas the vast majority of urban Canadians are living in tax vacuums that suck harder every year and the nine-tenths of the thriving rural Canadian towns are happy to welcome folks fleeing the cities, such as we are seeing in all East Kootenay communities.

At the end of the day, it’s merely mission accomplished for another click-bait monger working in a soulless urban environment driven by corporate weasels. By placing the link above, he will get even more clicks.

Hopefully he also gets a few more sharp rebukes for being a silly person and perhaps meets a few more rural Canadians before presenting another take on what we need or don’t need.

– Ian Cobb is owner/editor of e-KNOW and someone who happily fled the life-draining shackles of the urban dumpscaper several decades ago

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