How to win friends and influence people

On New Year’s Eve a young male made an impression on several people. This is how to mimic his behavior.
Plan a vacation. Make sure it’s somewhere new and exciting. This will increase your connections. Prior to leaving make sure you arrange for somebody to look after your common sense, because you will be leaving that behind. Once there consume a fairly large quantity of alcohol. This is key, failure to do so will result in people respecting you. Make sure you book into a relatively nice place, somewhere people are generally having a good time and won’t put up with your shenanigans.
Now back to the alcohol. Make sure you’ve consumed enough to make you belligerent. Now start bothering people. And when they ask you nicely to leave, talk back, argue oh and yell a bit for effect. People’s patience will start to wear thin. Suddenly a fight will break out. Nobody’s quite sure who started it, but you end up hurt.

The police are called along with an ambulance. When the police try and talk to you, tell them what to do. Demand they catch the bad guy, even though you haven’t told them who it was, you don’t even have a description. But tell them. While they help you and tend to your wounds, the bad guy is getting away. Bring in the ambulance. Be just as cooperative with them, after all they are helping you. Swear a bit, just to show your vast knowledge of the English language. Once you are loaded into the ambulance try to jump out, because you suddenly realize you might have to pay for this ride. Did you not bring your medical card? At this point the police depart but I suspect you made a similar impression on the nurses and doctors at the hospital. In the end I doubt you influenced anybody nor did you win any friends, but you will have made an impression we all wish to forget. Oh and the suspect, let’s just say it’s under investigation.
Funny money
Over the past week, Kimberley RCMP has received several reports of counterfeit $20 bills. The bills look good at a quick glance, but are not genuine. They are slightly smaller and the biggest difference is the queen’s head is not visible in the paper when looking through the bill toward the light.

Found money

A good, honest Samaritan turned in a quantity of money he found. If this is, yours attend the RCMP office to identify it. The owner of the money should be able to tell us what it was in, how much was there and possibly the denominations.

School buses

This a reminder that traffic from both directions must stop for school buses if the red flashing lights are activated. The fine for failing to stop is $167.

Cpl. Chris Newel, Media Relations Officer – Kimberley RCMP

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