Book Review

By Derryll White

Block, Lawrence (1978). The Burglar In the Closet.

Sir, he who would earn his bread writing books must have the assurance of a duke, the wit of a courtier, and the guts of a burglar.

-Dr. Samuel Johnson

A woman asked me recently if there were any mysteries with humour in them. She was tired of the dark psychological depths of the Scandinavian writers currently dominating the genre. I immediately thought of Lawrence Block’s Bernie Rhodenbarr series and suggested them to her. Block’s quick, easy dialogue makes the series a hilarious standout. So then I went home and dug out ‘The Burglar In the Closet’ to read.

The story itself is pretty standard. Bernie Rhodenbarr, a committed and steadfast burglar, inadvertently witnesses a murder, kind of. He’s hiding in the closet when the actual event takes place. But really the story is about Bernie’s efforts to extricate himself from the action, find the jewels he had planned to steal and which the murderer absconded with, and incidentally try to get a beautiful young dental hygienist in the sack.

Bernie is full of half-baked ideas. He puts himself in predicaments in attempts to determine the real murderer. Through it all he keeps up a rollicking self-deprecatory commentary about what he did and what maybe he should have done. He engages in incredible mental gymnastics which allow several minor characters to unload very funny lines. Try the dialogue with Denise, the art gallery owner.

In the end Bernie comes up with the definitive line. “There are plenty of women in this world!” My feelings as well, and each of them has their own wonderful attributes. I laughed myself through the whole of this novel. I did tell that woman I referred to in the beginning the right answer. This is a fast and funny read.

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Excerpts from the novel:

SECURITY – “Absence of dogs,” Miss Henrietta was saying. “I’m ever so glad they don’t allow dogs in this park. It’s the only spot left in the city where one may walk without constantly scanning the pavement beneath one’s feet. A disgusting animal, the dog. It leaves it’s dirt anywhere at all. The cat is infinitely more fastidious, isn’t it? Not that I would care to have one underfoot.”

SEX – And there they were in the bedroom, and then they did what they’d come to the bedroom to do, and that’s all you’re going to hear from me on that subject. It was no fun listening to it and I’m certainly not going to try to recreate the experience for you.

MEMORY – “Memory’s a funny thing. You just let it find its own path and things come to you sooner or later.”

MONEY – He needed money, and you’d be surprised what people will do for money. He probably started the deal in motion with the idea of picking up a commission of a few grand. Then he saw a way to get the whole thing.

– Derryll White once wrote books but now chooses to read and write about them.  When not reading he writes history for the web at www.basininstitute.org.

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