Mommy’s Weird

By Kyla Cornish

The other morning as I was climbing out of the shower, I could smell a mouldy odour.

It was my towel.

It was stinky.

It was gross.

And I was about to towel off my clean body with it.

As I reached for the towel, I stopped.

This was wrong.

Damn it. I am a grown woman. I do not need to use a dirty towel.

I work hard for my family.

I work hard for myself.

I DESERVE A CLEAN TOWEL.

I stomped out of the shower, slipped on the floor, caught myself with one hand on the towel rack, the other hand on the wall and sadly the door handle firmly implanted in my lower belly roll.  I stood up. Re-rooted my feet and took my dripping wet naked body to the linen closet.  I flung the door open only to find an abundance of pillowcases and stale smelling washcloths. I dug under the stack for the softest towel I could find.

I wrapped myself up in it and took a deep inhale and exhale.

This was the life.

This was my moment.

Except my hair was dripping wet.  So, I needed another towel.

I deserve a clean towel.

But, two?

That’s a bit much.

Plus, it will make for more laundry.

And it’s just going around my head for a few minutes.

Just one more use before I hang it on the towel rack.

Then hopefully I remember to put in the washer.

Perfect.

Wait.

Who is on first?

– Kyla Cornish is a “retired” radio Dj adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, sleep sanity and an addiction to saucy chicken wings. Kyla has been published in a series of funny blogger ebooks, “Life Well Blogged.” She has also been recognized as one of the Top 25 Funny Moms in Canada and US by Circle of Moms. Then she was kicked out of that contest for cheating. She also won a baking competition when she was 11 at a 4-H Rally. Find Kyla here: http://www.mommysweird.com and follow on twitter @mommyisweird

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