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My Boy’s DNA
Mommy’s Weird
By Kyla Cornish
I try not to make gender a thing in our house.
I say ridiculous sounding things like, “there are no such things as boy toys or girl toys. Toys are for everyone.”
Ugh…
So you can get why I almost tossed my cookies when my six-year-old daughter announced that “girls don’t play sports.”
Can you even imagine?
I literally had stomach pains.
When did society get to her?
How could a little girl, being raised by a feminist who played baseball, soccer, tennis, badminton and volleyball think that girls couldn’t play sports?
My brain went into overload, “What did I do wrong? Who told her that? How do I fix this?”
I fixed it by signing her up for soccer. When I told her she cried for 20 minutes.
“I haaaaaate soccer. I always touch the ball. I don’t want to plaaaaaaaaaay!”
I didn’t even give her a choice.
I laid down the Mommy card.
Hard.
Then I thought about my four-year-old son.
Have I ever laid down the Mommy card on him?
I haven’t.
I haven’t had too.
Society hasn’t gotten to him yet.
He doesn’t see things in black and white. He likes to wear ponytails but then call them his antennas. He likes to snuggle his Teddy Bear but not his Spiderman. He likes his toenails painted, but not his finger nails. He likes to carry a satchel and breastfeed his babies. He loves to dress up as a superhero but cries if a fly lands on him. He likes to play guns but with a teapot.
He really is amazing. I don’t know anyone like him. I think evolution has made the perfect human. I am waiting for someone to knock at our door and snatch a hair off his head so that he may be cloned.
But, today I saw all that start to change, because today, my sweet loving little boy spotted our neighbour unloading his quad.
His interest was piqued.
First, a slow walk over and stare. I could feel testosterone ooze from his pores.
Secondly, a slow walk back home to me. His walk became a saunter before my eyes.
A slow walk back over – with me – and then a touch of a wheel. He would have kicked the tires had he been wearing boots and not his sister’s Uggs.
Then, “Wow Momma, what is that?”
Next thing you know my four-year-old had on a helmet and was off for a ride up and down the back lane with our neighbour.
As I sat on our front step waiting for the return of my son, my mind wandered to his future. I saw him in camouflage. I saw him shooting a gun at a moose. I saw him driving a snowmobile. I saw him in a muddy truck with his arm over some girl.
Oh this wasn’t good.
Society had gotten to him.
That was the moment that was going to change my well-rounded little man for the rest of his life. No longer was he going to be kind and caring. He was going to be like all those other little boys at the park.
You know, the ones who throw rocks, or put their hands down their pants.
Nooooooooooo.
NOT MY SON.
After our neighbour dropped him off he was grinning from ear to ear. He was so happy he was actually vibrating.
As we headed into the house hand-in-hand I reflected back on my earlier thoughts. Pride in knowing that someday my son will do what makes him happy in life and sadness in the fact that he may not want to do the things that bring him joy as a four-year-old.
I felt a tug at my hand and I looked down at my boy.
“Momma, I was wondering if I could watch Barbie?”
His DNA is still not safe.
– Kyla Cornish is a “retired” radio Dj adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, sleep sanity and an addiction to saucy chicken wings. Kyla has been published in a series of funny blogger ebooks, “Life Well Blogged.” She has also been recognized as one of the Top 25 Funny Moms in Canada and US by Circle of Moms. Then she was kicked out of that contest for cheating. She also won a baking competition when she was 11 at a 4-H Rally. Find Kyla here: http://www.mommysweird.com and follow on twitter @mommyisweird
