Kootenay Crust

Oh, the humanity!

Buddy Boy Pedaldown is blasting through Kootenay National Park at 160 km/h, taking the odd glance in the mirror to gush over the handsome reflection and secretly hoping the vitamins will provide enlargement.

He rounds a corner near the Paint Pots turnout and it’s too late.

“You’re bloody nicked me old son,” grins Cst. Lawdog, who hits his flashers.

Traveling 70 km/h over the speed limit, Buddy Boy has in any language or parlance, shat the bed.

In British Columbia 2013, this infraction will merit a big, fat fine and the impoundment of one’s vehicle. Not only that, police are not obligated to solve your most recent dilemma. In the eye of this law, ‘too bad, so sad’ – you should have thought about this before you put the pedal down. And ignorance of another jurisdiction’s laws is just that – sad, woeful ignorance, reflective of the snide disregard speeders have for others.

That seems pretty basic to me.

But to prove that our world is apparently becoming overrun by swarms of self-interested knobs with a complete lack of respect for others, a Calgary Sun editorialist recently neatly summed up my take on this particular breed of narcissistic swine.

In a column entitled “Alberta drivers feeling the pinch from B.C. law that seizes vehicles before their day in court,” the Sun’s Michael Platt, with statistics popping from the page, paints the trek into B.C. as the “highway to hell — as patrolled by B.C. Mounties.”

Platt wields a righteous pen attacking B.C.’s speeding laws, warning his provincial constituents that if they choose to head west into the dark forests and hills of our province they are heading into a police state where civil liberties mean nothing.

“For 503 Alberta drivers, that’s how this year’s vacation to British Columbia will be remembered: a nightmare ordeal of tow trucks, impound lots and police with powers which place them above Canada’s justice system,” Platt breathlessly tapped out.

“It’s a record pace for vehicles from Alberta being seized by B.C. cops, with those 503 drivers recorded by the end of July already surpassing the total impounded in all of 2012, when 489 Albertans ended up on the wrong side of that province’s heavy-handed law.

“Of course, “law” suggests this rule involves due process, where the accused party can stand before a court and plead innocence — and if successful, avoid punishment.

“Not in British Columbia. Drivers who allegedly break the law in that province are immediately punished on the roadside by police, who can take their cars away for seven days just on suspicion of excess speeding or impaired driving, leaving the motorist stranded,” he correctly relates, before quoting someone who obviously doesn’t understand WHY speeding laws exist in the first place; human safety.

“You’re a police officer and you’re supposed to be protecting citizens — this is just wrong, all the way around,” said Calgarian Priya Batchelor, as quoted by Platt.

“You hear about families with kids and car seats just being left on the side of the road, and it’s just astounding. I mean, this is Canada.”

Yes, this is Canada and we used to be a polite and thoughtful nation and didn’t go around willy-nilly imperiling peoples’ lives because we are in a God-awful hurry to get our vacation on.

In his ridiculous postulation, Platt lays out a couple of examples of poor souls being slammed down for speeding by B.C. Mounties.

One story outlines how B.C. officers have too much roadside power and I have to say I do not disagree with that assertion. Platt’s diatribe was beginning to temper I thought, as I read on.

Alas – he’s a Sun media fella. Shoulda known better.

“Since the law passed, the number of Albertans stranded far from home has been steadily increasing — and 2013 seems certain to set a new record, being on pace to surpass 2011, when 807 cars were taken. It’s an unlucky year for Albertans, and a black eye for Canadian justice,” Platt closed and I commenced to writing.

B.C.’s speeding law is Draconian and it puts people in crappy situations, such as being stranded in the middle of Kootenay National Park. They are left alone, with an endless stream of new model SUVs and pickup trucks speeding past. When there is a short break in traffic, a silence only the majesty of a national park could present consumes them and terror of the unknown creeps over them.

Bears, cougars, wolves, wolverines and coyotes and crows to polish off the rest close in, oh my.

Alas, this scenario is moronic because by far the most dangerous thing those people will encounter in the park are the mindlessly selfish who flaunt speeding laws like money whores shake off morals.

I believe the 90-km/h speed limit is too slow. Modern vehicles operate best at their optimum cruising speeds and the KNP speedway should have a posted limit of 100 km/h.

However, considering the volume of traffic, the fact that it is a national park where wildlife is supposed to be kept safe and in a natural environment and the fact that the average driver has the IQ of tropical cave ooze – the current limit is the best folks can expect for a while yet.

What iced my take that the average driver has the IQ of bat shit and slimy dirt is the sad fact that Platt didn’t mention in his piece that speeding is a crime and excessive speeding puts lives at risk. As a representative of the poor people of Alberta who are finding their treacherous and disrespectful behavior behind the wheels of their vehicles ending with fines and vehicle impoundment, Platt apparently doesn’t give a yawning crap for human life.

Thankfully, he does not speak for Alberta police officers.

CBC News Edmonton reported on June 17 that some Alberta police chiefs asked the province to toughen up traffic laws — especially those related to speeding.

“Last week, the Alberta Association of Chiefs of Police voted in favour of a resolution that would allow officers to impound for one week vehicles of drivers caught going more than 50 kilometres per hour over the speed limit. Officers would also be given the authority to suspend drivers’ licences for the same amount of time, should the province approve the resolution,” CBC outlined.

“I think it will have an impact on prolific offenders — those people that are out there and just driving irresponsibly at extreme rates of speed,” Edmonton police chief Rod Knecht told CBC. “That’s who we want to focus on. Again, we’re not looking for this person going 10 kilometres over the speed limit.”

And here’s a curious kicker, completely related to Platt’s bailiwick.

“The vote was not unanimous, however. Calgary’s police chief voted against the proposed changes,” CBC pointed out.

(Smug, chuckling snort stifled.)

Many people who can’t step beyond their biases and small mindedness will have the kneejerk and all too-convenient reaction of Albertans being unfairly singled out by the police. It’s a form of racism they’ll shout.

How typical of our modern world and all its thin-skinned silliness. Too many rods were spared in the past three decades, methinks.

As one who spends far more time on regional highways than the vast majority of visitors from out-of-province, I am also at risk of being spanked by this law.

How do I avoid it (knock on wood), I DON’T DRIVE like a freaking maniac! It’s a simple solution: slow frigging down!

At the bottom of Platt’s column was a string of comments, with the usual cyber-oinking.

One genius stated; “Welcome to the police state 101. Boycott B.C.”

Another highbrow adds, “Stop travelling to B.C. When the impact is measured in tourist dollars they will certainly revisit this crazy law,” before admitting they don’t support drunks or speeders.

The idiot-babble personifies the speeder ego.

Another thing Platt didn’t consider was the thoughts of the average eastern B.C. resident on out-of-province speeders.

A little checking would have revealed that every person who lives and drives in this region has too many stories to share of his/her experiences on our often-treacherous highways. Some involve death and mayhem that could have been avoided if drivers showed more due care and attention and, far more importantly, respect to other human life, to the always-endangered wildlife killed in bloody droves each year, and to our laws.

I think it is unfair for a family to be stranded in Kootenay National Park, where there is no cell service – though many are helped by the RCMP (including breaks on how fast they were going) – and softer discretion should be shown by officers who do strand people.

But then again, these same officers are the first people on scene at the many hellacious accidents that occur, as well as BC Ambulance and volunteer fire and rescue crews. They see the aftermath that a lack of respect and care create and when they are dishing out huge volumes of tickets on a weekend (such as the Columbia Valley detachment handing out 144 speeding tickets in KNP on the August long weekend), it is proof that despite the harsh law, drivers are still flaunting speeding laws, and far too many drive recklessly and stupidly, and in doing so endanger others.

The police are merely doing as they are asked – and in doing so they are trying to make our highways safer. To condemn them as Platt did in his column is asinine and juvenile.

The solution is simple and it’s a long time in the needing for this region, SLOW DOWN. Take in the scenery and shake the angers your city existences create; and stop bringing them out here with you.

Highway 93 through Kootenay National Park and Highway 3 through the Elk Valley are not the Deerfoot Trail or QE2, but more and more people seem to think they are.

They make our highways dangerous and I hope the Mounties keep kicking their asses.

Ian Cobb/e-KNOW

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