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Posted: January 14, 2015

Humankind’s great Tao stubbing of 2015

Me2Kootenay Crust

By Ian Cobb

This past week has been one of reflection around the world.

Ever since three tiny little men shrieking the singular glory of Islam wasted 10 French cartoonists and magazine employees, as well as two Paris police officers, people in the free-thinking nations of our world have been reflecting on what is right, what is needed in a just and free society and what the flailing spaz-sandwiches is wrong with religion?

Since the attack on Charlie Hebdo and on the western world’s correct love affair with freedom of speech and expression, things have gone down the bunghole in France. The French government has now ordered a crack down on hate speech, anti-Semitism and glorifying terrorism. In other words, freedom of speech and expression has been given some rules in France as 54 people have been arrested for ‘defending terrorism’ in the week after ‘terror’ attacks have left a total of 17 dead in Paris.

And things are just getting going. Expect more deaths and much more suffering brought about by intolerance, ignorance, fear and hatred, because my oh my the haters love to hate, don’t they?

It is hatred billowing from the hearts of the psychotically religious who seek to kill and maim in the name of their God because some doodler pens an image or 11 they find ‘offensive.’

Even though the laws in France, which is NOT a root nation of Islam, allow for magazine front page portrayals of the Prophet Muhammad, in whatever state or position drawn, three now famous Virgin encrusted Islamic critics lash out like hyper egotistical children and ‘make a statement’ for Allah.

We’ll never know what statement, because the three Charlie Hebdo killers are now finding out that they were wrong all along and should have been worshipping bees by frolicking naked in churches made of dolphin spit. Stupid bastards.

Naturally, Charlie Hebdo’s stock appears to have improved through the death of its employees. The print run for the first issue following the Jan. 7 attack is about three million; or 2,940,000 more than usual.

Methinks our three brainwashed haters who sought to punish, judge and play God by ending lives totally shit the bed on this one. The magazine is once again coming out swinging, with a cover showing a frowning Prophet Muhammad holding a sign that says “Je suis Charlie” — I am Charlie — under the headline, ‘All is forgiven’ (in French).

Satirists as well as the serious the world over are leaping on the freedom of speech thing, like they suddenly and finally understand the breadth of one of our most precious privileges – freedom of speech, expression and movement. The Charlie Hebdo cost has re-established a modicum of respect for those who seek to portray the truth, no matter how ugly, sticky or ho-hum.

It has become clear to me this past week that 21st Century Earth has got to grow the hell up.

In 21st Century Earth, people should not be blowing their mental wads over religion, the blind adherence to which makes people dangerous and insane.

If only people could follow the light in their hearts on their own time and in their own space and quit trying to ram their beliefs down other peoples’ throats.

It seems a given in Canada for people to behave as I just described but still the ding dong pamphlet wielding door nuts march on. At least they’re polite and don’t make me fear that they will detonate themselves if I tell them to “have a nice day and go across the street to that house over there because I KNOW the guy living there needs to hear what you have to say. Just watch out for the one-eyed Rottweiler laying on a bed stuffed with slightly rolled up come hither you heathen pamphlets.”

It is time that our world’s people came to an understanding that religion – of all stripes – is cool. Practice away; rejoice with your fellow saints and sinners and garner glee from your escape. But stop shoving it in one another’s faces.

Charlie Hebdo makes fun of all religions. It mocks Muslims; jabs Jews; kicks crap at Christians; bugs Buddhists; hurls ha has at Hindus; sneers at Scientologists; snickers at Sikhs; jeers at Jainism; bah ha has at Bahá’is; moons Mormons and ‘aves at the alliterative. It also takes the piss out of atheists and snorts at science. And in doing so, it takes money from people who CHOOSE to purchase their product. It is not raining down from the heavens onto the doorsteps of the world, designed to carve into the heart of religious darkness and bring down Satan’s reckoning. If you believe that, might I say, you have the intellectual qualities of wet soil and your father was a food trough wiper.

I have made it a rule during my career to not write about religion. Sadly, all it does is create hard feelings. The ‘devout’ who ‘know’ the ‘truth’ but cannot explain ‘the chemical formula to the hereafter’ become bitter and hateful toward those who don’t see things the same way and they get some cheesed when alternative views are ‘thrust’ into their faces.

And that has seriously got to be some of the dumbest shit perpetrated by the human animal.

I have found it is ‘easier’ to not make fun of religions, even though each and every one excitedly rampaging about out there is a breeding ground for hilarity.

So I guess I have broken my rule.

Rules are meant to be broken sometimes; especially when the ‘time’ is right, such as when a precious privilege is to be defended.

The rules of religions, clutched tightly to the chests of the devoutly dense and too-easily frightened, become the battle cries of the dangerously idiotic.

In other words, the misinterpretations of ancient texts combined with blind adherence cause more problems in our world than anything else.

This needs to be said and said again and again and again until the dangerously stupid and overbearingly demanding cease their blithering lamentations of woe and come to the understanding that all they need to be is ‘good’ and ‘do unto others’ and pray as they see fit in order to adjust and be comfortable on this mortal coil. If you do, what you see in the mirror will sit right with you. Just keep it civil and keep it real and for goodness sake watch hockey. Hockey is good; hockey is great.

Hockey.

 

 

Hockey.


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