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Posted: August 23, 2014

Whoa… during the day

KylaCornishMommy’s Weird

By Kyla Cornish

Remember when I told you I was trying to make new friends?

Remember how I am trying to fit in at school pick up?

Remember when I discovered that all of my friends were having sex during the day?

Sorry that is a lot of remembering.

No pop quiz.

I promise.

Col COrnish1Anywho…

So keeping with the theme of sex during the day and trying to make new friends and attempting to fit in at school pick up.  I happened to combine all three of these awkward situations in one big swoop.

You see, a new Mommy friend that I know from school pick up gave me her phone number. We aren’t really casual texters. We usually text to pass along information or to make play date plans or maybe a coffee date. We are getting there. Maybe I will buy her a ‘Best Friends Forever’ necklace for Christmas.

Anywho…

The other day my friend and her husband walked hand in hand to school pick up. They reeked of sex. Not literally. I mean, I couldn’t smell it on them. But I could feel it from them.

ColCornishThey totally oozed of fresh sex.

And because I say dumb things I said, “How’s it going? What’s new?”

They both sort of stammered and said something about going for a “run.”

Listen, I may be a bit of an idiot. But, there is no way that just happened. They totally just bumped uglies. Give me some credit, you horndogs. So, I smiled nicely while I was thinking, “What a couple of liars.”

Now before I go on with this story, let’s just remember that I am an idiot who cannot let things go. Not only do I say dumb inappropriate things, I text them too.

Case in point…

Thank God, she still likes me. I mean really, who texts that to a woman they have just started to become friends with?

But, she still answered me! I didn’t scare her off. Anyways sorry to cut this short, I gotta run and go order those BFF necklaces now.

– Kyla Cornish is a “retired” radio Dj adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, sleep sanity and an addiction to saucy chicken wings. Kyla has been published in a series of funny blogger ebooks, “Life Well Blogged.” She has also been recognized as one of the Top 25 Funny Moms in Canada and US by Circle of Moms. Then she was kicked out of that contest for cheating. She also won a baking competition when she was 11 at a 4-H Rally. Find Kyla here: http://www.mommysweird.com and follow on twitter @mommyisweird


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