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Posted: August 4, 2018

Recreation enthusiasts; get in on this early

Letter to the Editor

Rumour has it that the next great advance in exhilarating recreational activities in the East Kootenay will be, guess what? Heli-ATVing!

This has been proposed after the latest craze to hit the area, heli-biking, has been enthusiastically welcomed in the Purcell Wilderness Conservancy. After the warm reception for the latter, the next logical step is ATVing without requiring more roads in the wilderness. Permissions are being sought by the well-positioned planners to establish a number of heli-pads in the upper reaches of Maus Creek basin above the tarns (so as not to disturb the seasonal tadpoles). The heli-pad area will also accommodate up to 10 adjacent 10 RV lots (to be sold at auction). To entice buyers, a “clothing optional” swimming pool is also on the books as a future addition, along with a children’s zip-line.

A second area being surveyed for a similar venture is in the Wild Horse valley, at what is known as “Nine Basins.” This area has the advantage of being near Sparkle Lake to serve as the swimming facility, to avoid construction costs. Plans are to install environmentally-approved geothermal heat generators to maintain the lake at optimal swimming temperature (24°C).

At both areas the investing recreationists will have their RVs (maximum length 10 m) transported to the pre-purchased lots, utilizing the U.S Army’s workhorse CH-47 Chinook ‘copters’ that are available on standby from the armed forces when not needed in military maneuvers in Iran or elsewhere.

In order to mitigate the concern of environmentalists by working closely with wildlife biologists, the current plan is to generate ultra-high frequency soundwaves from nearby mountaintops to warn wildlife to clear the area prior to the incredible noise generated by each of the numerous helicopter forays. As well as transporting the ATVs, numerous preliminary flights will be required to establish the RV lots and ancillary structures such as restrooms, small-scale “bistro-type” food venues and a bar.

When completed, the entire venture will require precisely coordinated communication from a central “Heli-base” so that flights and ATVers will not encroach upon, or interfere with the other well established heli-sports ongoing in the region (heli-skiing, heli-hiking, heli-biking).

As a recreationally inclined district, to attract and extract maximum usage fees for this project, we citizens, the Regional District of East Kootenay and Ministry of Forests, Lands & Natural Resource Operations must work together and give this exciting venture full support.

If sufficient start-up funds cannot be guaranteed before 2020, the Canadian Federal Government will be given the opportunity to purchase the entire operation to guarantee that it succeeds in a timely fashion.

Stay tuned.

Editor’s note: This is not about a real application; it is an idea the author “conjured up” while hiking in Maus Creek, “lamenting all the wilderness recreation taking hold everywhere.” Happy August 4 day!

Jack Loeppky,

Cranbrook


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