By Josh Lockhart

As we head into the holiday season, a time that is jovial and bright for many, it is also a depressing time for some.

Major depressive disorder, commonly referred to as depression, and seasonal affective disorder are real, and can peak during the winter.

Depression is different from the sadness or disappointment that comes from unmet expectations during the holidays. However, those unmet expectations can be the soil for depression to take root.

Clinical depression is a state of being that has lasted for more than two weeks. It can affect a person’s thoughts, feelings, and physical well-being, which then influence their behaviour.

To support someone struggling with depression, one needs to be aware of the signs and symptoms of depression.

First let’s look at the emotional. Depression is more than just feeling sad in a moment. It’s as if Sadness from the movie Inside Out has contaminated all the past, present, and future thoughts and feelings. When that happens, feelings of hopelessness and discouragement arrive. Sometimes anxiety comes along for the ride.

Next is the impact on thoughts. With that layer of thick, dark blue sadness, it is hard to combat any unhelpful thoughts that attack one’s own self-esteem. Self-criticism builds, along with a pessimistic view on the world and life. Plus, with how mentally draining depression is, it is hard to focus and make decisions.

The next impacted area is physical well-being. Depression is exhausting. It is difficult to find the energy to do anything. Often sleep polarizes, meaning someone with depression will begin to sleep a lot more or a lot less than usual. The same is true for appetite.

With the impacts on the body, emotions, and thoughts, comes the impact on a depressed person’s behaviour. Again, since depression is energy draining, someone with depression will withdraw themselves from social situations and their usual activities. They will appear to have no desire and motivation to complete tasks. There may be unexplained crying spells, or mood swings. In extreme cases, personal hygiene may suffer.

So, what can someone do to help?

Empathy. Connect with them on an emotional level; where they are at. Communicate that emotion, such as “it must be hard,” or “what a frustrating situation.” That feeling of validation goes a long way.

Listen, without judging. Listen to understand. Don’t be critical of what they are saying or doing. Just listen.

It’s important to remember that depression can’t be fixed or cured, only managed. Don’t try and fix the situation for them, they need to do that themselves in their own time, what they need is your caring and committed support.

For more ideas of how to support someone, search for a video called The Black Dog (pictured above).

– Josh Lockhart, MC, CCC, PHEc is a husband, father, columnist and counsellor. Josh focuses on helping individuals, families and communities lock their hearts together. Learn more at joshlockhart.blogspot.ca

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