Anne Davis/Special to e-KNOW

When you think about it, our personal and professional relationships differ only in the intensity of emotions and the expectations we have of one another.  Would we not be happier in our personal relationships if we observed the basic principles of teamwork?

Guidelines for successful teams & partnerships:

1. Good communication;
2. Be open and trust your team members;
3. Give up control and share the credit;
4. Don’t blame others;
5. Have patience;
6. Be supportive;
7. Listen actively;
8. Get involved;
9. Get over your differences;
10. Pull your weight.

Wow.  What great relationship advice!  Let’s take them one at a time.

1. Good communication:  Be respectful of each other. Outline what responsibilities you each have.  If you have a problem, talk it out.  Be clear about what you expect from each other and be reasonable about your expectations.  Be available to each other and be open to negotiating.  See also #7.
2. Be open and trust the team members:  Trust is vital.  You need to have faith that each of you cares enough to do what has been promised.   Be truthful and honest about what you will and won’t do.  Don’t make promises you aren’t sure you can keep.
3. Give up control and share the credit:  You are equally important.  Each of you has strengths and weaknesses so identify and utilize each others’ strengths. Lean on each other, be forgiving and don’t expect the other to change.  Celebrate your differences, they keep things interesting.
4. Don’t blame others:  Neither of you is perfect.  It’s nobody’s fault that things didn’t go as planned or that something was forgotten – that’s just how things work out sometimes.
5. Have patience: See also #4.  Let each other off the hook when things go sideways.  Find a way to laugh about it together.  Be understanding.  No one is trying to make life miserable!
6. Be supportive. Show appreciation for each other’s efforts. Be considerate of each other’s needs and ideas, no matter how silly they seem to you. Be inspired to consider subjects from a different angle and come up with new solutions. Don’t be a know-it-all.
7. Listen actively.  Look at the person who is speaking to you, ask questions and acknowledge what has been said by paraphrasing points that have been made.  These are good listening skills that allow you to clear up any miscommunication immediately.
8. Get involved.  Speak up.  Share suggestions, ideas and solutions.  Be more aware and help out where you can.  This not only fosters better relationships, it encourages trust.
9. Get over your differences.  Focus on your similarities while realizing there will be differences of opinion.  It is inevitable as no two people are completely alike.  Each of you has your own unique outlook and when you can allow for that, life together becomes a lot less stressful.  Learn to agree to disagree and let it go.  Often that simple gesture is the catalyst that gets things moving in a direction of mutual satisfaction.
10. Pull your weight.  This relates back to #1 where expectations and needs are clearly defined.  Be fully engaged, reliable, caring and help out where you can.  When anyone feels like he or she is doing all the work, resentment kicks in and open communication begins to break down.
11. Relationships are difficult enough without having any ground rules in place to guide us.  Our tendency is to treat our loved ones with less courtesy than strangers.  So be accepting, courteous, respectful and understanding of each other.  Keep your focus on your partner’s positive aspects and ignore any negatives.  Love is much sweeter when you expect the best from each other.

Anne Davis is a Kimberley-based writer.

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