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It’s a gluesniffer’s world now, me beauties
Kootenay Crust
By Ian Cobb
Donald Trump is on the brink of turning the world order upside down.
His ongoing greed hallucination about Greenland being vital to American interests (see also: LOOK OVER THERE!) will become the end of NATO and 81 years of unity.
Vladimir Putin rubs his mitts together and giggles – more a helium enhanced rat squeak.
Xi Jinping pirouettes like Pierre Trudeau behind the queen, seeing greater wealth coming China’s way.
Both dictators love the impending kerblooey from their only rivals and will sit back like fat spiders waiting to see what side to back before rushing out and sinking their teeth into the necks of freedom, sucking the life from our ways of living on the knee-jerking whims of a rapidly dissolving sociopathic narcissist seeking to be remembered ala Julius Caesar.
And he nods off amongst the hands that will clutch at the salvation of the future; fever dreams of peace medals dangling from his neck while he ponders being the matchhead to Armageddon. Is this why evangelicals dig this thing so much?
Oh sad, Donald. You will be remembered like Nero, not Caesar. Like you, Nero was a compulsive effete who loved being emperor but loathed the work. He would rather trod the boards and blow his subjects minds with his vast acting talents, which only dangled as fruit in his own mind; everyone else saw him as a fool. The comparisons are striking between you, including how Nero is usually considered the useless twit who burned Rome to the ground. Parallel lines appear before us.
As we roll into 2026, 81 years past the end of the Second World War, when empirical fascists sought to take the world for their own and extinguish those they disliked, we have a new wave of fascism blooming in the chafed hearts of struggling young males. Most of these same easily indoctrinated onto hateful pathways males are also blind and ignorant to history because, at the end of the day, they are dumb as knotty posts and as selfish as the cattiest of cats.
The cycle of violence continues. Oppressive old men duping impressionable young men with hollow words that tickle the nerves of their sundry hatreds and biases, always leading them to horrible deaths at the hands of peoples who did not choose to be their enemies.
Desperate to make his flock of flipflop lickers forget about the Epstein Files, old drunk uncle Donnie blithers into Venezuela, his chubby for its oil reserves a giant giveaway as to his intentions. Never mind the fact that oil companies aren’t keen on it due to the costs and Venezuela not possessing the energy needed for such things as steam-assisted gravity drainage to extract the oil from ground (think Fort McMurrary).
That King Donald also had Nicolás Maduro and his missus kidnapped out of the country, breaking international law and such, was ketchup on the McDonald’s fries deflection for the country beagles wearing red caps. No one weeps for Maduro and perhaps his removal will help things improve in Venezuela, if they were left to their own devices. America has a long history of completely pooping the bed when it comes to ‘repairing nations’ it ‘helped improve.’
Always a greedy spider, sleepy Trump now dreams of invading Greenland because, like the silver-spoon bully he is, why pick a fight with a tough guy when you can push a little guy down?
Naturally, as Trump has surrounded himself with sycophants, greedy spiders and weasels, empty-headed buffoons and Muppets with skin (except for maybe RFK, not sure what that stuff is that he has wrapped around his face), he is able to run amok, praised onward with routine smooches on the bum, while he sleeps and, apparently, smells like “rotten roast beef.”
And now we’ve got France and Germany (nations that REALLY remember the horrors of modern war), committing to aid Denmark in protecting Greenland.
The 20,000 citizens of Nuuk are collectively shouting, “what the fuck?” It’s akin to the poor isolationists who moved to the Falkland Islands in the 1970s only to wake up one morning in 1982 to be in the middle of a war between Argentina and Britain (there’s the oppressive old men – and women because Thatcher – again).
Meanwhile, in Canada, the mouse sleeping next to the elephant, we should be getting serious about getting serious.
Putin’s probing about of Trump’s puffy brain now complete, a war could break out between America and NATO, including Canada, as an attack on Denmark is an attack on us. Plus, we’d be next. In fact, war over Greenland will mean war in Canada, contemplating military strategies and all.
An all-out war of America against NATO and other allies, likely Australia, New Zealand, Japan, Mexico and other nations, would be a slugfest Trump is certainly oblivious about (poorly read narcissist he is). The curse to our southern cousins that is the notion of American exceptionalism will result in incidents where underestimation rules the day and hurts the nation.
The nations Trump dares to enrage are among the toughest in the world. Typical bully who’s never been punched in the mouth, Trump. He’ll happily shove the men and women of the US Armed Forces into insane harm’s way because he’s a wincing coward who cannot accept defeat. Someone spank that child!
Then there is China, Russia and India, sitting on the sidelines, playing Risk and Chess and wondering what side to support. Don’t forget the Muslim nations just itching to bleed America and South American nations with long memories of American interference.
America, you will be surrounded. Your only hope will be threat of nuclear holocaust. Now isn’t that just deep hole crazy? You won’t win. No one will. Not even the rich old men who are once again duping the masses with bread and circuses and words that caress tender parts of ugly minds.
How much do you want to live in a world with all that nonsense going down? It may sound alarmist because it is alarmist. It is also mind-crushingly ludicrous that it has gotten to this point. America – I know you can do and be better.
Sadly, the only thing true about American exceptionalism these days is how exceptionally bloody stupid they’ve become. Ever since the rah-rah Reagan era, Americans have been doubling down on dumb and duh bro intellectual densities. Trump has tapped into that vein like a fat spider on a beer-soaked wasp.
What will the next great deflection be? An attack on Cuba? On Colombia? On Minnesota or California or Illinois?
If this wasn’t so all potentially horrible for Canada, I’d say grab some popcorn and sit back and watch the daily episodes of an increasingly deranged asshole whipping a small legion of like-minded assholes on, dismantling his nation one deflective act after another, with a shrug and chuckle and some gurgling.
We are at a point in human history where we will either tip over to the upside down or rise above with righteous resolve.
Righteous resolve won out during the First World War and again during the Second World War.
History speaks if we listen; its lessons taught over and over when we do not.
– Ian Cobb is owner/editor of e-KNOW
