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Mommy’s Weird
By Kyla Cornish
Recently I was asked the question that makes me cringe… “What are you making for supper tonight?”
Seriously?
This is an intimate question.
It’s like being asked if you are wearing nylon or cotton panties.
See, I was on my ‘second date’ with a new Mommy friend and when she asked the question, it freaked me out a bit. I was totally worried that my answer would determine the status of our friendship.
Yes, I am being dramatic.
Yes, I know what you are thinking; you are thinking this… Who cares? If she doesn’t like that you cook your kids hot dogs, then she is not the friend for you.
Am I right?
Anywho…
But I didn’t flinch. I mean my daughter was running around her house like a college co-ed on spring break, I figured I was okay to speak the truth. She wouldn’t judge.
“Hot Dogs.”
Then she said, “the kind with the noodles in them from Pinterest?”
Um… no.
But, sure, why not go for “Mom of the Year?”
Yes, I just stuck a bunch of spaghetti into a hot dog and boiled it. Super easy. Just make sure the pot you are using is pretty big.
I was so bloody pleased with myself for making the coolest Kid Supper on planet, I even named them “Poodle Dogs.”
Get it.
Hairy Hot Dogs.
And before you ask…Yes, those are frozen peas.
Anywho…
I seriously felt like I had rocked the hell out of supper.
I am not only the best looking, funniest and smartest Mom, but now I am also a Pinterest Mom.
WHEEEEEEEEEE!
Not.
The.
Case.
Baby Bot kept crying real tears for “HOT DOGS WITH NO NOODLES!”
Then Whirlwind did this…
She picked all the noodles out and then ate the Poodle Dog without the Poodle.
Riddle me this. My kids will eat spaghetti. My kids will eat hot dogs. My kids will not eat hot dogs with spaghetti sticking out of it.
Ridiculous.
PINTEREST FAIL!
I texted a picture to my new Mom friend.
She replied with, “Ewww. That looks like a gross pickle with zits.”
Yes, it does lady.
And it’s all your fault.
Disclosure: No new friendships were hurt in the writing of this post.
UPDATE: I recently found out that you are to cut the hot dogs into round circles and then poke it with the spaghetti noodles. Mental note: Pinterest the Pinterest recipe before attempting it. Idiot.
– Kyla Cornish is a “retired” radio Dj adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, sleep sanity and an addiction to saucy chicken wings. Kyla has been published in a series of funny blogger ebooks, “Life Well Blogged.” She has also been recognized as one of the Top 25 Funny Moms in Canada and US by Circle of Moms. Then she was kicked out of that contest for cheating. She also won a baking competition when she was 11 at a 4-H Rally. Find Kyla here: https://www.mommysweird.com and follow on twitter @mommyisweird
