Mommy’s Weird

By Kyla Cornish

No really? Why do women quit playing sports after high school?

That title reads as if this is going to be a funny post.

Like a sport for a Mom would be ‘Team Cattle Roping Your Kids’ or ‘Gymnastics  Day Timer Scheduling.’

Wait.

That actually is kind of funny.

BAHAHAHAHA. My daytimer is a damn mess. BAHAHAHA.

I digress.

This is a post on why we shouldn’t quit playing team sports once we have kids.

When I was a teenager I played badminton and volleyball. I curled. (Google this if you are not from Canada); I played softball. I taught figure skating.

When I got into my twenties, I still played a little bit of softball and slow pitch but only because beer was involved. The same actually goes for curling too. Bonspiels are the shit. But those events were few and far between.

I golfed a ton with my girlfriends but that was pretty much because there was nothing else for us to do in my hometown. I swear to God my girlfriend Caroline and I golfed that course five times a week.

Oh and then there was that co-ed volleyball team. Remember when Mike sprained his ankle and the other team tried to say we had to forfeit the game to win the championship? I still see members of the rival team in Cranbrook and refuse to look them in the eye. What a bunch of jerks.

But once I got into my thirties and had my first kid, all of that pretty much stopped.

My team sports slowly became replaced with other things. I started a few different solitary activities like yoga, Zumba, running and cross-country skiing. Which I love and I still do, but it hasn’t been until I went back to playing Wallyball have I realized how awesome it is to be back on a team.

Before I go on, I am not sure if any of you know what Wallyball is. I sure didn’t. I explain it as “a souped up version of volleyball that you play in a raquetball court.” Each side has three players and you have a volleyball net. The thing is you can play the ball off ALL the walls. Even the roof. Sometimes you get so dizzy you can’t see straight.

Sounds messed up, right.

It is.

It’s awesome.

Not since I got back to playing wallyball, did I remember how great it was to be part of a team and how much I really missed it.

How awesome it is to yell “mine!”

How inspiring it feels to watch your teammate make a great save.

How rewarding it feels to get a high five or a slap on the back from your teammate when you make a crappy play.

How much fun it is to get a ball in the head and the crotch.

How invigorating it is to laugh with your female teammates.

How exhilarating a good rally can be.

There is just something about team sports that makes me feel good.

I am guessing it’s the word “team.”

Or maybe it’s because when I am out there playing, I am not a Mom. I am not a wife. I am not an employee. I am not even a friend.

I’m just me.

The annoying person who might do the moonwalk after she crushes perfect spike.

Yup.

I am just that full of myself when I play, that is how good I feel.

If you played team sports in high school and have taken a huge hiatus, I suggest you go back. Look for a local team. Lace on the skates or shoot that basketball. Go get your ass slapped by some other grown ass women.

Let off some damn steam.

Be part of a team.

It will do you some damn good.

– Kyla Cornish is a “retired” radio Dj adjusting to being a Momma of two children. Main problems? Lack of sex, sleep sanity and an addiction to saucy chicken wings. Kyla has been published in a series of funny blogger ebooks, ‘Life Well Blogged.’ She has also been recognized as one of the Top 25 Funny Moms in Canada and US by Circle of Moms. Then she was kicked out of that contest for cheating. Kyla appeared on the Los Angeles-based television show FabLife in 2015. She also won a baking competition when she was 11 at a 4-H Rally. Find Kyla here: http://www.mommysweird.com and follow on twitter @mommyisweird

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